chaos arpeggiating

A while ago I told a friend I wanted a new job by the time I moved, still thinking I would be moving May 1. Fast forward to this past week. I received a job offer just three days before I moved into my new home a month before originally planned. I’ve always been guided by goal setting and this past week has given me renewed confidence in my abilities.

I received a job offer last Thursday and they needed a decision by Monday. In those few days I had plans with three sets of people I hadn’t seen in ages, I had to finish (read: start) packing, I had to move myself into a new apartment. It wasn’t a chill weekend to say the least. I texted at least 20 people asking for their opinion, I recruited a friend to help with negotiating my offer, I immediately asked to sit down with my old boss. The move and the offer made me nervous, excited, empowered, all at the same time. My brain felt like a pile of noodles. That’s the only way I can accurately describe those few days.

What I realized through this was something I’ve always known: I thrive in chaos. It’s the reason I love cooking. It’s the reason I love New York. And it’s no coincidence that all of these changes  happening simultaneously have made me happier than I have been in many months.

With that said, I would like to let everyone know I have officially accepted a new role at APCO Worldwide (a majority women owned company) as a Project Consultant working with corporate clients on their strategic communications, corporate social responsibility, and crisis management. It’s going to be a big change and a challenge, but it feels like the right time to try something new and the right time to help companies find their social voice. I knew after the election I needed to do more and I think this job will provide me the opportunities to touch projects that effect real change. I’ve already felt such a warm welcome from the team and know this is the next step I need to take while continuing to grow as an individual and continuing to fall more in love with the city and all it offers every day.

Part of this process ignited a need within my staunch feminism to negotiate my offer which I had never done before. Knowing the pay gap is partially caused by women not negotiating as often as men, I knew I needed to at least try. I talked to a friend about how to approach it and we determined an appropriate strategy. I’m working on getting better at asking for what I need and this was a big move. Crafting the email and having the phone conversation helped me overcome this fear and going forward I will be more confident having these conversations. Subconsciously women are told we don’t deserve as much as men and we consciously have to choose our words wisely so not to seem needy or bitchy. It’s a tough line to walk but this process has given me the opportunity to experience that vulnerability and now I can share my experience with others.

I’ve also been reading Blood, Bones, & Butter by Gabrielle Hamilton, the owner of Prune restaurant in NYC. Her story is chaotic and her success is inspiring to say the least.  The timing of this read also came into my life at the perfect moment. The same friend I told about my goal to get a job asked me what it would take to reach my ultimate goal of opening a restaurant. It’s a question I’ve been asked a lot, but this time it struck a cord. I have always thought about it at a macro level, needing capital, needing a concept, needing a location. Then a different friend made it clear I was thinking too big. Even a forest fire starts with a tiny spark. Both of these conversations got me to thinking and I came up with a concept that resonated with me for the first time and I’m going to start selling my cookies a few at a time wherever/whenever I can just to get my feet moving. Stay tuned for more updates on Rounds (that’s the name, holla!) and if you need any dessert gifts, catering, or personal treats hit me up.

I’ll give more details on lessons from the book in my next post, but I thought I’d document and share a life update. Monotony makes me manic. These few moves colliding at the same time have emblazoned me to continue reaching and striving for more. I know success is not solitary and would be remiss if I didn’t thank the people who were there to talk me through it along the way. I cannot wait to see what comes next and continuing to share with whoever is reading this. The world is messy, confusing, enraging, and scary right now, but we can all take comfort in our individuality and personal peaks. No victory is to small to be celebrated.

** chaos arpeggiating – of Montreal

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